I hate alcohol. Do you really want to know why I hate alcohol? I hate it because it ruins everything. For the past two years, alcohol has damaged my family more than anything. I never really voiced my opinion to my family until this past weekend. Every Friday I am excited to go home and see my family, but this past weekend was different. When I got home I knew something was different. I walked into a dark, cold house, and my older sister was sitting on the couch in the dark. I thought it was strange, but I still went to my room and dropped off my bags. After I walked back into the living room and said hi to my sister. She looked at me and said, “Leave me alone. Go to bed.” Her make-up was smeared, and her voice was different but it sounded very similar. Like the time I got a phone call at 4 a.m. asking me if I could pick her up because she was too drunk to drive. I knew she was drunk but my mom didn’t notice. Until my sister snapped and told my mom she “wasn’t worth s**t” and threw the TV remote at her. When it comes to my mother and younger sister, I am very protective of them. My body began to tremble. I really didn’t want to say anything to my sister, but I hate seeing my mother being treated like that. From there on things got way out of hand, so my younger sister, mom, and I left to get a motel room. By that time, my shoulder was bleeding, my head was bruised, and my heart ached. But I never once hit my sister because I made a promise to myself and God that I would never do that.
I didn’t know what else to do or say but cry. My younger sister looked at me and said, “I’m scared.” I knew I needed to be strong for my mother and my sister but I just couldn’t be strong anymore. I broke down. I tried getting some sleep, and I slept for about two hours. I woke up to my mother crying and praying. I eventually fell back asleep. It was about 9 a.m., and the sun was shining. My mother told me to sit down by her, and she said, “I know you don’t know this but never argue with a drunk person. I learned that the hard way from your dad.” Moments later, I got a text message from my sister saying, “I’m sorry.” I forgive her, but I am still trying to forget. I will love her until the day I die. She will always be my sister. But right now I am numb and weak. I can’t feel anything. I’m not ready to talk about anything that happened and how I feel but eventually I know I have to forget and move on. And after everything that happened this weekend this is the reason why I hate alcohol. Alcohol ruins everything. I hate everything about alcohol. I hate being around alcohol. I just hate it.
I agree with you. Alcohol can ruin things. My aunt is a recovering alcoholic and I remember how hard it was when my cousin was still in the house with her. They always got into fights. Many, just like yours, ended physical. My aunt finally got a wakeup call when her boss at work told her that she needed to get clean or she was going to lose her job. I applaud you for your courage to write such a personal blog. It really shows people that they do not know the whole story behind someone. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI know where you are coming from with this one. I have had so many members of my family ruin their lives because of this tricky drink. Sitting back and watching someone throw everything away because of alcohol is, in my opinion, one of the hardest things a person can do. I have seen countless times the horrible effects alcohol can have on a person. I wish that alcoholism was something that people knew that they had. It sucks that those people actually have to try drinking before they know it isn't compatible with their bodies. I know how you feel and if you ever need someone to talk to about this topic, I am here.
ReplyDeleteYou speak the truth girl. Alcohol can ruin so many lives and affect more than just the drinker. There is always someone else who is going to be affected by drinking and it sucks. My grandparents are horrible drinkers and they passed in on to 2 of their 3 kids. I can see how much it ruins relationships and peoples' health. Thank you so much for your willingness to share these posts. You are always so open! Even when we want to smear paint all over you!
ReplyDeleteYou speak absolute truth, Courtney. My own mother was an alcoholic all my life. She was a mean drunk who liked to hit you and call you ugly names. It was this vile beverage that ruined my childhood. However, that all changed, May 25, 2012. That was the day my mother swore she would never touch another drop of alcohol. This coming May she will celebrate a year of sobriety. I’m sorry that you’re hurting, and if you ever need someone to talk to I am more than willing to listen. You’re going to be okay, Courtney. You’re a strong young women, and you’ll get through this.
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