January 13, 2013

      On January 13, 2013, I received a phone call at 3 a.m. from my dearest friend, Stenson. He asked me for a ride back to his house because he was very drunk. I tell all of my friends to call me if they are drunk, and they need a ride, no matter what time it is and where I am at, so he did.  When I was getting ready to pick him up, he was called again. I answered. He said, “Hey. I found a ride.” I told him to call me when he got home, so I was trying very hard to stay awake. It was about 4 a.m., still nothing. I eventually fell asleep. I woke up around 7 a.m. again and checked my phone. I had seven missed calls and eighteen text messages. They were all from my friend, Christian. Christian was with Stenson that night. I called Christian back. He asked if I had heard from Stenson. I replied, “No.” He hung up. I grew more and more worried about Stenson. I called almost everyone in my contacts and asked for Stenson. No one knew where he was. About thirty minute later, I get a call from an unknown number. I answer. They say, “Courtney?” I reply, “Yes.” There was a long pause. They finally said, “Stenson got into a car accident. He didn’t make it.” I started crying. I ran to my mom’s room and hugged her. I couldn’t stop crying. I just wanted to go back in time and take him home safely. A few minutes late, Christian was calling again. I pulled myself together and answered. He says, “Have you heard anything yet?” I never answered his questions, but I did say, “Who are you with, Christian?” I didn’t want him to be alone when I told him. He said, “With my mom.” I say, “Christian. Stenson didn’t make it home. He got into a car accident.” Christian and Stenson were best friends. I heard him yell, and say, “No! Please. No!” I start crying again. He hung up. I didn’t know what to do. I should have given him a ride home. I should have woken up faster and drove as fast I could to Stenson. I thought of so many possibilities and things I could’ve done to save him. But blaming myself never helped. I miss Stenson every day. I surely do miss our late night McDonald runs and playing guitar for hours. I miss talking to him and seeing him. He was the greatest friend anyone could ask for.

            A couple days of nonstop crying, I finally got the urge to sleep. That night I dreamt I was with Stenson. We were playing pool, and he said to me, “Courtney. Promise me something. Don’t ever give up on anything. Stay in school for as long as you can.” I kept questioning him on why he was saying this. He never answered. I will never forget that dream. I believe it was his way of saying goodbye. I think about him every single day, but I know he is somewhere watching over me. So, please, if you ever are drinking, please do not drive. Call someone even your mother. She will get over it easier than losing her own child.